Here we go...Friends?

It's the opening game (first game, whatevs) of teh Stillers. I'm here at Matt's, checking my email, which turned into checking facebok and watching "Friends." Sh, Matt doesn't know. Is it sadthat I would rather be watching this instead of the game? Anyway, it's fun - lots of people are here, and it's great to catch up! On my second beer...heh. And, then, I have an 11 pmmeeting toniht that willgo on for several hours...

Anyway, senior is amazing. I love it. I can'te even describe it. Although, I was really upset the other day - very emotional, and I'm not sure wh. :( Anyway, I'm gonna head back downstairs, then go up and see Les, Ashe and Zph.

Oh! And I have a cast for "Liz"!! And they're amazing!!

I currently love love love my life. :D

First weekend at school and I'm so lame.

Stayed in tonight because I'm sick. At the moment, it's 1:24 am and I'm wide awake - perhaps because I've been (restlessly) sleeping since about 7:30 in the evening. Perhaps because I keep getting hot, then cold. Perhaps because my mind keeps racing of things I have to do.

Or perhaps because some idiotic freshmen stood outside my window between London and Terrace, talking and screaming and doing some light thing that flashed. But that's fixed now, as I called campus police who came and scared them away.

Mama didn't raise no fool.

I don't know how I'm feeling now. Annoyed that I can't sleep. So I may try to do something productive, like work on the script, but I'm still kinda tired. I hate this. But Matt was awesome and got me meds, so hopefully I'll feel better soon.

Missed the party tonight. :( That really sucks.

Auditions are going along really well for "Liz." I'm quite excited about it, and feeling really good. And Julie Brown is awesome. This should be a fun show.

I've decided that I love being a senior. And I really like this year. Despite the fact that it's starting off with me being sick and living in an apartment mainly of annoying freshmen. I really like freshmen, and I think they are cute and it's so much fun to see their enthusiam. But don't come being all loud by my room at 1:00. Just don't do it.

Ok, I'm off to organize my planner or something.

Whoa.

we're starting our senior year. and then we will graduate and go who-knows-where. and we will be leaving home. our families, our friends. we will be starting our lives. and that all happens in just one little, tiny year. this is so trippy.

i move in tomorrow. senior year starts in 4 days. i can't WAIT to see everyone.

when i think of senior year, i can't help but thinking of graduation, and this time next year. and i get....incredibly, stomach-flip-flopping excited. thrilled. and a bit scared and sad. but mainly excited.

in other news, trailer park is no more. but the book of liz will be here. with her cheese balls. and sweat. seriously. it's a great show.

omg. i'm going to be a senior.

yay!!!

Yay! People read my blog!

That's always exciting.

I lead such a sad life.

Anyway, I was listening to Bat Boy BEFORE I found out about the rights issue, so that's why I think it's fate. Or perhaps I'm just trying too hard to see the sunny side of all of this.

So, the S'n'S 2k6 Homecoming show will be one of the following...
Company
See What I Wanna See
The Imaginary Invalid
The Book of Liz

I'm a fan of all of them. Yes, I kind of favor one the most, but you will never know which one that is, ha ha! I'm actually driving myself insane, though. Because until I find out, my mind keeps jumping from one to the other -- I'll start to figure out the set for one, then I start thinking about blocking for another. And I keep getting more and more excited about each one, which is good, I suppose.

In other news, the tents are up on campus for orientation. And it's bringing back all these memories of this time 3 years ago. When I stepped on this campus, I wanted to own it, to learn so much, and I wanted to make something of myself, to find best friends, to find people to love, to find myself. And, at the start of my senior year, I have to say, I've done everything that I wanted. And so this year is kind of the icing on the cake. And I can't wait.

Hold Me, Bat Boy

Whoa. So I updated all my songs on my iTunes last night, and I put Bat Boy on my iPod and have been rocking out all day to it. And it's freaking me out a bit.

I haven't listened to really, any songs from it since then - that's almost 2 years, so now that I'm listening to it, it's all coming back. Know what I mean? Who I was at the time, what I felt - I mean, a song plays and these images and feelings rush towards me - the character I was playing onstage (I recall being very emotionally invested in my character of Agnes....very weird, I know, but I remember that), how I felt towards the other characters, and then all the "offstage" stuff - I remember where I was standing, how I tried to edge out someone else, or how I took a step back. I remember my note, or how (in the end of "Comfort and Joy") I totally made up a new note each night. So if someone was off pitch, it was probably me. I remember the costumes, the feel of them, of the stage, of looking around and how I felt towards each other.

It's so weird to travel back to that time because so much is different now. Relationships (both platonic and romantic), SnS stuff, just stuff in life. It's been a good journey down this path though - because I'm looking back on it with fond memories -- yes, there was some hardship, but in comparison to everything that we are going through today, who really cares about that? It's over, it's done - so when I look back, I'm actually feeling all warm about it. I really miss everyone, though.

And, it's odd to think about Homecoming - I'm listening to the music, and for a split second I think, "Omg, I hope I get in the Homecoming show!" and then I remember...I'm directing. Not that I ever really forget, but I'm just so excited and it's so new for me (I directed a Feb. play, not a Homecoming musical, big difference I think)....

Besides the current worldly crisis, to which I woke up on the news and immediately had flashbacks to 9/11 as I'm sure we all did, life is relatively good. Or great, even. I've unforntuantely realized that not only can I still not spell unforntunately (nor do I care to learn), but life is always a struggle. When you think you've won something, you really haven't. It's just taking a rest to gear up again with more force. So you gear up, too. Put together your troops and defend yourself. It's never easy (ha, that's a lyric from my show!), but you have to try. Because if you don't, you'll end up looking in the past and hating yourself. Which is a terrible feeling.

That made sense to no one but me, probably.

Hey, if you read this, can you let me know? I'll probably still post regardless, but it would be interesting to know if anyone actually reads this at all....oh, Lord, now no one is going to post and I'm going to be the loser with the blog that no one reads....

Eh, whatevs.

Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around...

Sweeney Todd is in my head. But only Act I, as I do not have Act II. Which troubles me greatly because all of my favorite songs are in Act II. This weekend, I will get Act II from Matt. And it will make me very happy to have Act II. Have I said Act II enough?

Speaking of Matt, I'm seeing him tomorrow!!! Eek! He's the best. Ever. Sent me a sweet (double-meaning...) fruit bouquet!! So tasty and wonderful. I can't wait to see him; and I can't wait for school to start to everyone is back together again in CMUland; it's empty here without Matt, Danielle, Ashe, etc.

Went on a road trip to D.C. with Les to visit Danielle this past weekend (check out photos on Facebook) - we had a delightful time! Danielle's family is ridonkulously amazing, I have to say. And I loved that we got to swim in a pool!! I haven't done that in YEARS! It was a great trip, overall (despite the awful "show" that we saw...don't get me started.)

SO excited to go to Jersey this weekend. We're going into the city on Friday to have dinner with Ashe at this Cuban place -- and I can legally order a drink in NYC! How exciting!! Then, on Sunday, we may go to Ocean City, NJ - which is my absolute favorite place in the entire world.

I have much more interesting things to say, but I'm bored with writing and I don't think that anyone reads this anyway, so why write in it when I have a paper journal?

39 more minutes of work...